When I was five I began going to Saturday Matinee, where the parents could drop off their kids for a few hours knowing they’re safe. I once turned down an Escapades ticket offered from my aunt. Sorry, I said. I want to see Superman. At one point in my youth I got a Howdy Doody bendable puppet almost a foot high. Not cool until I turned Howdy Doody into Superman, with a cape and now capable of doing super things which broke all the bendables in Mr. Doody’s body. Now it flopped around like a real dead sponge guy. Too real, I thought.
During this time of Superman emulation, my life was in some ways worse than Clark Kent. As an only child I pined to find my soulmate. At seventeen I thought I would die alone. My dad said to me, so, you really need a woman to live. It reminded me of Lenny Bruce on a deserted island saying, you’ll do it to mud, if it feels good.
This appears to be an actual Superman movie as opposed to the Saturday series that thrilled me when I was five, and two things happen. As spoiler I ask you to watch for the hollow earth theory and how everybody says, yeah okay. Also, note that the timing of this cheap fifties movie is out of sync with the …uh…light speed thinking of today. Hence the theory, time is speeding up.
This is a discovery for me as a fan of Superman since birth.